Obscurity
A sad thing to see, a loss of beauty & to humanity indeed,
A man so unsure he is suspended in time,
Trapped in a boys world he keeps buried deep inside,
I fell for this boy, who struggles to be a man,
My biggest mistake was my willingness to understand,
Deep inside him was a land I call obscurity,
A place filled with doubt, a little loathing & consumed by insecurity,
I had resided in such a place, where you learn to hate yourself,
You cant stand every part you can see, even your own face,
Desperate to be something your not,
Constant comparisons & convincing yourself you need what you yet haven’t got,
You feed into your darkness, a void, an inner black hole,
Creating a monster & helping it grow,
It talks to you sometimes in whispers other times in shouts,
Always the dialogue is cruel & mean,
Chanting your shortcomings, filling your head with fears & doubts,
On & on this cycle goes, in this valley full of pity & woes,
Its not about who you are inside as it is out,
You despise having to look at yourself at all,
Never being at ease, especially without your clothes,
Its called a poor body image or something like that,
It makes that vortex you continually have to feed,
Really a want but feels like a need,
So much energy spent feeding a fragile ego,
What he was a slave to in reality, he didn’t even know,
Instead of a man full of power & conviction,
There cowers a small boy, begging for validation & attention,
A spirit torn apart and ripped asunder so shamefully,
I think to myself how that should have never come to be,
So with reckless abandon I re enter this heinous land,
I tell him I show him the way out & offer my hand,
His monster holds him completely ensnared,
He wont stop feeding the beast hes just far too scared,
I realize To face himself he is not prepared,
I wish he could see how this will never feel good,
And will always prevent him from being treated as he should,
But out of weakness & ignorance he chooses to stay,
So into his insecurity he will forever play,
to an ego impossible to quench forever bound,
In a painfully place of lack is where he will be found,
I walk away heart heavy with grief,
It hurts to see him go to say the least
